Help Me Cope! Increasing Youth Resilience

Welcome!

News flash! July 1, 2008 You can now obtain a copy of Help Me Cope! as part of my new book, Stressed Family, Strong Family: Coping with Problems, Building Resilience, Handling Crises. Click this link to order your copy of Stressed Family, Strong Family. My other site, stressedfamily.com, has more information about that book.

For a free copy of the quiz Help Me Cope! email wrbftaylor1@comcast.net with the words "Help Me Cope quiz request" in the subject line.

Welcome to Help Me Cope! – an educational quiz for youth ages 10 to 21. After filling out the quiz, a youth and his or her parent can discuss ideas about supporting resilience--the ability to handle stress or a crisis. I developed Help Me Cope! on the basis of my 40 years of experience as a child and family psychiatrist, helping young people and families deal with many different sources of stress.

Young people face lots of stress and can sometimes feel overwhelmed. But they also have great natural resilience – the ability to deal with stress, to be flexible, and to bounce back from problems.

Help Me Cope! is designed to let young people and the adults in their lives see, appreciate, and increase that resilience.

In order to get feedback from parents, youth or others about Help Me Cope! I ask those interested to email me their request for a copy of the complete quiz and other information families might find helpful. The sample below contains just the first three questions.

How to use Help Me Cope!

By answering the quiz’s 38 questions, (which you will receive by email) a young person can get a clearer understanding of their own resilience; each question includes immediate suggestions that might help the young person be more resilient and cope better with stress.

I ask that a youth who takes the quiz share the answers with an adult in their life, such as a parent, grandparent or counselor. This helps the adult understand better what the young person is going through and how they’re coping. It also provides an opportunity for conversation and discussion that might not come up in everyday interactions.

Also in the email will be additional suggestions about how adults can discuss the young person’s answers with them, plus a discussion of resilience, and a list of stressors.

Teachers or counselors may want to ask a group of students to critique the quiz. Students could fill out copies anonymously, or they could express opinions about the items without answering them.

Parent/guardian's permission is important! Any one using the quiz needs the consent of the parent or guardian for youth under 18.

Now here is the start of the quiz.

Thanks for your interest.

William R. Taylor, M.D.

Email wrbftaylor1 at comcast.net.

SAMPLE OF HELP ME COPE! A QUIZ ABOUT STRESS

We all have to cope when something bad happens to us or to our family. Bad things are called “stress” or a “crisis,” or an “emergency.”
To cope means to get control over the fear, anger, sadness, confusion--any upset feelings. Coping means keeping feelings under control enough to go on with school, work, and one’s usual life. We call that coping ability “resilience.”
This quiz asks about things that might help to cope better--to feel OK again after feeling upset. A parent or another adult can talk with you about your answers. Youths’ answers can tell the adult about the youth’s strengths, and possible need for help.
If a youth does not need help with stress or a crisis, the adult will see from the answers that they don't feel they need help.

If a youth needs help, parents or guardians must accept full responsibility for obtaining that help. This quiz is educational in nature, and cannot take the place of expert help.
Parent/guardian's permission is important! Any one using the quiz needs the consent of the parent or guardian for youth under 18.

    Warning: Answers to some of these items might show a wish for a parent or parents to change. Some parents have trouble listening to a request for the parent to change, to understand, to listen more, etc. Those parents might get mad, yell or even beat their son or daughter if the parent feels disrespected, complained about, or criticized.
    If a parent gets angry about such things, the youth should not fill out this quiz until they talk to their parent, to a counselor or to another person who can help decide. This quiz aims to teach families how to get along better, not stir up trouble or make things worse.
    It's also OK just to answer those items that seem helpful. You don't have to answer all the items.

To Adults Deciding to Answer the Quiz for Themselves
Adults may find that many of the questions apply to them. Some items include a separate adult version. Adults can answer the questions if they wish, and then compare their answers with a youth’s.

How to Answer the Quiz
Youth or adults answering the quiz can think about some trouble or stress they have had.
What if you can’t think of a crisis or stress? You can still answer the questions.
Need a list of stresses? In the email containing the complete quiz, you will find a List Of Bad Things Or Stresses .

Make an X in one of the boxes for each item. In some items you might check more than one box. NOTE: This online version will not accept typing in the boxes. The email version will.

SAMPLE QUESTIONS

1. I know when I’m feeling stressed-- my hands shake, or I feel short of breath, or my heart speeds up, or I feel scared, angry, dizzy, can’t keep my mind on things, want to escape or leave the situation, or I get other feelings such as:________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don’t know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/

2. I’m learning how to face my fears and cope with stress
    from seeing how others cope, or
    from asking others how they cope, or
    from figuring things out for myself, or
    from reading or seeing a video about how to cope, or
    in some other way
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don’t know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/

3. I’m learning to stay calm, relax, not feel stressed, and find ways to solve the problems that I’m faced with
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don’t know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/

This is the end of the sample questions. Email Dr. Taylor for your complete set, together with information on discussing the answers, the List of Bad Things, and a discussion of resilience.

Email wrbftaylor1 at comcast.net.